Time Flies

I was reading my post from almost a year ago about Lilly not sleeping through the night, and I was struck by how much life can change in a year. Lilly now sleeps 11 or 12 hours at night. Although she is still the sweetest little person I have ever met, she has changed so much in the past year. Now, she walks, talks, and roars like a lion. Lilly hides her pacifiers in her toys and then days later rejoices when she finds them. She sleeps with up to seven pacifiers in her crib at a time. When Lilly turned one, she found her throwing arm and began throwing her pacifiers out of her crib. I quickly grew tired of constantly fetching her launched pacifiers and came up with a brilliant plan to rid our house of pacifiers. That plan lasted a day. Now, my philosophy is that she finds comfort in pacifiers and the problem of her throwing them out of her crib isn't really a problem. When she turns two, I'll reevaluate the situation. Maybe she will be ready to move on from pacifiers.

People have told us time and again that this time with little ones running around the house will fly, and they are right. Matt and I agree that we had to experience this for ourselves, before we could understand what people meant. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to stay home with my baby during the day. I haven't missed anything, and I cherish every moment. Apparently, I have been so busy cherishing, that I haven't taken the time to blog much. Sorry!

Lilly is interested in dumping toys out and sometimes putting them back where they go. She also loves to read. She will either bring us a book to read, or she'll even read to herself. One book, Moo, Baa, La La La, involves three singing pigs saying, "La La La," and on the next page are the words, "No, no." Lilly has started to point both of her index fingers and say, "No, no" as we read the book together. I love it! Recently, Lilly turned to my in-laws' dog, Oscar, a dachshund, and said, "No, dog dog!" because he was sticking his nose on her too much. "No" is Lilly's favorite word right now. She says it even when she doesn't mean it. I will ask her if she wants a drink, and as she shakes her head "No" she reaches for the cup to get a drink. I can't help but laugh. Matt and I don't say "No" a lot, so I'm not sure why she's obsessed, but I understand that it is a common word for toddlers to use.

Speaking of words, here is a list of words Lilly can say, I might be missing a few:

1. No
2. Mama
3. Dada
4. Hi
5. Dog
6. Duck
7. Roar (as in the sound a lion makes)
8. Baby
9. Whoa
10. Water (everything that she drinks is water, regardless of what it really is) :)
11. More
12. Nose
13. Eye
14. Hair

She can point to all of her different facial features (i.e. eyes, nose, mouth, etc). She also twirls in a circle to "Ring Around the Rosie" and giggles when I fall down on the couch. When we get to the falling down part of the song, she races to the ottoman and lays her head down, giggling the entire time. She also knows it's funny to put sliced olives on her fingers.

I could go on and on about how wonderful Lilly is to me.

Catch Up

I took a few months off of blogging, but Lilly didn't take a break from growing sweeter and cuter. The blog today isn't really about any particular incident, rather it is more of a chance for me to catch up on the events of the last few months. My goal in writing this blog is for me to have an outlet to share adventures in raising our kids, but also so I can remember and share my experiences with my children.


Lilly's first birthday was a blast. We had about 30 people in our home at one time. We were bursting at the seams! The theme of the party was "Under the Sea", since Lilly goes crazy every time she sees fish. She had a lot of fun, and looked so cute with her dark pink tutu and pigtails. I made her cake, which was the shape of a fish and even attempted to ice the cake with bags and tips-a first for me! Although the cake was far from perfect, I had fun making it and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. I ordered cupcakes from a local bakery to relieve some of the stress of the party. They were delicious and also followed the fish theme.

Since the party, Lilly has had tons of fun playing with all of the toys and books she received for her birthday. Our living room is essentially a toy pit that Matt and I happen to watch tv in.

In July, the same week Lilly turned 13 months, she started to walk independently. She had been walking with assistance since she was nine months old, but she spent four months gaining balance and confidence to walk alone. She is so cute! She enjoys holding our hand when she walks, but if she gets excited she will stand on her tippy toes and "run" as fast as she can to whatever has caught her attention. She's actually pretty fast, and we have to watch her even more closely than before around stairs. Lilly can get up stairs pretty well, but we are scared of her going down the stairs.

For her birthday, Lilly was given a Dora doll. The doll opens and closes its eyes depending on how it is positioned. Lilly loves that doll! So much so, that I went and bought her another doll, one that has a pacifier so she can have a couple of dolls to play with. She carries the dolls around and pokes the eyes while saying "eye". I had no idea a one year old would be interested in dolls. I figured dolls wouldn't be interesting until two or three. Boy, was I wrong!

Lilly has two teeth (both on the bottom) and is working on getting a few on the top. Although she is still sweet and usually happy, I can tell she is uncomfortable. For a week, she didn't nap and was up during the night screaming. Normally I avoid giving Lilly medicine, but the screams told me that she was in some serious agony. Plus, she needed to sleep. I think in about four weeks, Lilly will have another tough teething time. I've noticed that her teething gets bad every four weeks.

One of Lilly's favorite things to do is to play outside. She was given a truck and wagon for her birthday, and she goes crazy every time she sees them in our garage. We have to let her go for a spin in our driveway or on our sidewalk. She looks so serious when she's riding, but I think she is just taking in her surroundings. The truck has a cool horn that she likes to press while we push her around our driveway. The wagon has seat-backs and seat-belts, which means it is much more advanced than the wagon I played with as a kid. Lilly holds on tightly to the sides of the wagon when she's riding. She loves trees, grass, and a good breeze. Although I do believe Lilly will be girlie, I also believe she will be an outdoor girl, too.

My Favorite Time of Day

Growing up, I would be the grumpiest person in the morning. I hated mornings--Correction: I loathed mornings.-- My idea of the perfect day would begin at 10:00a.m. Now that I have done research on child psychology and sleep behavior, I know that kids are chemically programmed to have late starts to their days. Their brains function at a much higher level if they can begin the thinking process at around 9:00 in the morning. This explains a lot. Through my college days I would stay up late and get up mid-morning, if possible.

Now that I'm an adult, and more importantly a parent, I have a drastic change of heart when it comes to my favorite time of day. Almost like clockwork, my internal alarm goes off at 6a.m. I scurry down the hall with the eager anticipation that is only equal to a child's anticipation of great surprises waiting for her on Christmas morning. I peek my head into Lilly's room and inhale slowly and deeply. The sigh that emits from my body is of pure contentment. It took me 27 years to realize what contentment feels like. If the morning is really perfect, Lilly will still be asleep breathing deeply as her rosy cheeks surround her half open mouth. I usually watch her sleep for a little while before jumping back in bed to snuggle with my stillnotsuchamorningperson husband. At around 7:00 I hear rustling from Lilly's room and know she is awake and starving! I pick up my bundle of love and squeeze and kiss her all the way back to my bedroom. Then, our family of three snuggle in bed while Lilly eats and takes breaks to grab Daddy's nose or brush her arm at him, making sure she still has his rapt, although very groggy, attention. It's obvious Matt enjoys this time of day as much as I do. The impossible to wake man has no problem smiling and softly talking to his legacy. He enjoys every pulled hair, every slobbery kiss she offers, and every chance he has to connect with his family. Matt and I often link hands as our creation lays between us. It is in those moments that I most feel like we are a unit. Our entire world is in that bed. We have each other.

Spring Garden

I finished planting my garden today. I have onions, lettuce, carrots, peppers, and peas planted. I might try to plant radishes, beans, and tomatoes on our deck, or I'll wait to plant those veggies when the current crop is complete. I understand why so many people enjoy gardening. There is a great sense of accomplishment and peace when working in the dirt. The only sounds I hear in the morning are birds frantically building nests. Our poor neighbors have starlings moving into their grill. We have a very cute little bird, I think it's a robin, sitting patiently in a beautiful nest in the smaller of our two trees in the yard. She doesn't seem to mind me gardening in front of her brood. However, Lilly and I have stopped taking trips to the tree to admire the blossoms out of respect for the young family. Gardening the way I'm doing it is completely impractical; after the cost of the raised garden kit, seeds, and soil, there is zero financial gain. However, if I successfully grow anything, I'll be happy. Plus, Lilly gets the benefits of "helping" me take care of something and of picking the finished product. She laughs when she's watching me mess around in the dirt. She's a funny little girl.

Stranger Danger, Or My Obsessive Need to Protect Lilly

When Lilly was two weeks old, her doctor ordered a second newborn screening test because the first test's results were inconclusive (grr-we went on to have a 3rd screening done!). As Lilly and I were leaving the lab where her poor little sensitive heel had been gouged by an insensitive hulk of a lab tech, an elderly lady approached us and said, "I promise I won't keep her, but you have to let me hold your baby." After I got over my initial shock at this absurd demand, I firmly but nicely told the lady that Lilly had just had her heel carved, was pretty upset, and she didn't feel like leaving the comforts of her wrap (I had her tucked firmly in our Moby wrap).

Most people would have taken the hint, wished us a good day, and moved along. This was no ordinary lady. She proceeded to follow me to the car, asking the entire way if she could hold Lilly. In her defense, I think she suffered from the onset of dementia, because 1. She talked about the loss of one of her children as if it happened yesterday, rather than 50 years ago (Her daughter died at the age of 22), and 2. She couldn't remember what kind of car she drove (!) or where she would have parked said car.

I felt sorry for the lady, but I could only visualize the woman getting confused while she held my newborn, and then me tackling her in order to get Lilly back. I didn't want to risk it.

I recall that my mom told me that people always wanted to hold me as a baby. I wonder if most moms face this dilemma. I say dilemma because while moms need any and all help offered, there is a strong need to protect our babies from any possibility of harm.

Recently, at the post office I was filling out a ridiculously long form, while Lilly hung out on my hip. She was so good, as always. She was curious to see what happened at the post office. At one point, she started laughing hysterically, which always makes me laugh, too. She was content to sit on my hip and people watch.

As I filled out the necessary form, a kind woman offered to hold Lilly, while I finished what I was doing. She was not the first person to ever make such an offer. I appreciate the offers to help, but do any mothers actually say yes in these situations?

I can see three reasons to decline the offers:

1. Stranger Danger
2. Cold/Flu Season
3. My Maniacal Obsession of Keeping Lilly Away From Reasons 1 & 2

Secretly, I wish I was confident in the sanity and healthiness of others to allow them to hold Lilly long enough for me to finish whatever project I am working on at the time. Additionally, I really get a thrill from watching other people have fun with Lilly, and she benefits from the stimulation.

Pre-Lilly, I enjoyed getting my hands on any available baby. Therefore, I like to share my own baby and allow others to have the same fun I do/did. However, I have limited my sharing to family and friends. I cannot seem to accept the kind offers of strangers. Even though I am aware that the vast majority, if not all, of the offers come from sweet women who know what it's like to be a new mom with lots of things to do with only two hands.

As I was going through the process of writing this post, Lilly got a cold. The heart wrenching reality of watching my baby suffer has only renewed my protectiveness over her well-being. However, her cold has also forced me to realize that I will not be able to protect her from all possible dangers forever no matter how much I would like to be her permanent shield. She's going to scrape her knees, get sick, or have her heart broken. That's part of life. My greatest hope for her life is that she will power through the struggles, enjoy the triumphs, and understand that her greatest earthly allies, cheerleaders, and comforters are her parents.

Lilly's Looks

Most newborn babies are cute. I say most because let's face it, some babies look like lizards. Cute lizards but still lizards. I mean nothing negative about this for as a newborn I too looked like a lizard. I grew out of it (I hope), and most babies do the same.

Lilly, however, does not look like a lizard (she takes after her father). She was born with a full head of dark hair, she has eyelashes that never end, and her eyes have yet to decide on a color, but are nonetheless dark and captivating. Don't get me wrong, Lilly had me worried for a while. When she was born she had a large quantity of hair on her ears. I thought we were either going to have to invest in a lifetime's supply of ear waxing appointments, or she would always have to wear her hair long and over her ears. On the plus side, we would not have to worry about getting her ears pierced or ever buying earmuffs. Thankfully, her ear hair fell out after about four months.

Dirty Coffee Water is No Match for Lilly

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My coffee tastes like dirty dishwater that has been steeped with a bag of smelly gym socks. I understand that my usual coffee-flavored water is weak to most people, but I have always enjoyed its relaxing affect on my morning. Is this sudden distaste due to a disastrous coffee-making error on my part? Did I accidently make my coffee using dirty dishwater that has been steeped with a bag of smelly gym socks? Or has Lilly sent me over the edge into the sludge filled abyss that is heavy, fully loaded coffee drinking? I love my daughter, without a doubt, but if she has caused me to become a tar-chewer for breakfast, something will have to change.

I have been told that babies begin sleeping through the night somewhere between four and six months. All along my goal has been to move Lilly from the bedroom I share with my husband to her own room by the time she reaches six months. The idea was that Lilly could sleep in her own room when she could sleep through the night. As my little girl just turned five months this past weekend, the deadline is looming.

Generally (and I think most mothers think this of their own babies), I think my baby is superior to all other babies. She’s cute, sweet, very intelligent, and squishy (the ultimate baby compliment). However, there is one area where my daughter does not excel on the Best-Baby-Ever scale. Each night, regardless of how late she first falls asleep, Lilly summons me from the cozy shelter of my bed and demands to be fed.

One thing new mothers don’t really expect, at least I didn’t, was the flood of unsolicited advice I would receive after giving birth. It’s as if I gave birth to a baby and a sign that says, “Help me, I don’t know what I am doing!” Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing, and I appreciate all advice. I enjoy hearing from other mothers who have had similar experiences. I find comfort in hearing from other sleepless mothers who have tried everything possible to get a good night’s sleep.

I have been told to stuff Lilly full of a tasty concoction of breast milk and baby cereal right before bed. This only results in bigger diaper issues than I care to discuss, and Lilly still wakes a few hours later for her moonlit feeding. I have tried using a pacifier to pacify (sorry) her habit of eating in the middle of the night. When I have tried this method, I am up every hour (or 30 minutes!) to replace the pacifier. Eventually, I give in to her insistence to eat and then crawl under the covers for a few more hours of sleep. Some mothers have suggested I take away one of Lilly’s naps during the day. However, if Lilly feels like napping, I cannot wave a magical wand to prevent her from falling asleep.

Sure, I’m tired most days. Looking in the mirror is a scary experience; my eyes are puffy, dark, bloodshot orbs. Frankly, I’m surprised Lilly isn’t scared of the sight of me. She’s braver than me. My one solace is in the cup of coffee I enjoy every morning. That one cup transforms me from a walking, rattle-shaking zombie into a “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” singing, smiling mother. For now, I must make my coffee stronger, and wait patiently for my little darling to sleep soundly. I know that with time she will sleep for longer stretches of time. I understand that my sleeplessness is a minor problem, and I am grateful for a happy, healthy, bundle of pure sweetness.